I AM FIT Episode 1

by admin on January 28, 2017

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I AM FIT – Just Not Yet
Episode 1

Are you Hypnotized? I was!

Hi my name is Frederick March. You probably do not know me yet, but let’s get to know each other. This journey that I’m going on is about fitness, not just about physical fitness, but emotional fitness, financial fitness and mental fitness. Yes I need to walk my path in order to become a fitter person, because the reality is right now I’m over 300lbs. I am less than I was recently but I’m still over 300lbs. I used to be over 400lbs. But over the last few years I’ve gotten down to just over 300lbs. 325lbs for me was a victory. But it just wasn’t sufficient enough of a victory for me. So I’m trying to figure out why. Although I was very heavy, I was in a gym working out, I was on the treadmill, and I would loose thirty pounds. I was getting motivated. I would feel great working out. I was looking forward to my future, but then I would just stop. Any excuse seemed to be sufficient. I didn’t know why. Now I’m learning why. Because I am hypnotized! I have been hypnotized for many, many years. The majority of my life I had preconceived notions of who I was and what I could accomplish that were not true. Even if they weren’t true I was going to make them true. I did not know this for the majority of my life. Now I am almost 50 years old and I am learning that I never knew ME. As I walked through my life, I behaved and acted in a way that I thought was consistent with who I was, but I didn’t really know who I was.

So just to give you little background about me, I am fairly outgoing fairly likeable and I love to make people laugh. Although I’m a big guy, I like dancing and I’ve taken martial arts for many years. I’ve been working out for a long time, so I pretty much know how to work out with every machine in the gym and do almost every exercise and yet I’m still over 300 pounds. So it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that there’s an issue. So I realized that there’s something missing. Yeah there’s something missing alright!! My beliefs in who I could be was limited. So this process that I’m going through is going to help me to stay accountable, because I’ll be writing this blog on a regular basis to let you know how I’m doing and maybe I can have a place to vent and to say this is what’s going on!! Maybe through my struggles you can maybe learn a little bit about your struggles.

In my life I am blessed, I have lots of things, I am not suffering. But I’m also not prospering financially. My wife and I have been having troubles since the beginning of our marriage. I have a difficult time just keeping a job. It’s not as though I get fired, it’s just that somehow it ends, or I just move on to something else that doesn’t last. I have done a lot of jobs. I have done everything from driving an ambulance to working as a chef, to computer programming. And now I’m doing video editing and audio engineering, as well as graphic design. I can do and have done a wide range of jobs. I have never stayed with any of them for very long. I used to say that I was bored and I wanted to try something new. There might have been some truth in that, the reality is I just never thought that I could do anything effectively. I just had low self-esteem. I just felt bad about myself.

Low self-esteem is a cancer in your subconscious.

It is a cancer. It makes you stop those things that would bring you joy, it makes you stop those things that will bring you financial freedom. It makes you stop all kinds of things, because you don’t think that you can do it, even if you are doing it. I recall when I was in my early 20’s, I was very fit back then, I was actually able to do backflips and I was dancing all night long, and I was breakdancing, I was in martial arts, and I was fit. I was wearing size 32 pants back then. But you know what my perception of myself was at that time? I WAS FAT. I was fat…In no way at all!!! I was solid as a rock. People would kick me and punch me, and I would stand there and take it. It was not because they were beating me up, it was because it was part of my training. I would stand in a line, everyone would come up and punch me and kick me, and I would take it. I was solid, but that’s not how I perceived myself. Since I was a young child, I was always told that I was fat, and lazy and stupid, and I wasn’t going to amount to anything. I wasn’t told by my parents, but by my teachers!

My Struggle with Dyslexia

Because I was dyslexic I had certain issues that teachers didn’t understand back then because, let’s face it I’m 50 years old so it’s not like they had the knowledge we do now. Back then what they knew was that I was learning disabled. That’s what they would tell me. YOU ARE LEARNING DISABLED. OK. Now at that time, I was not a dumb kid. So I intellectually went through the process of explaining and said “I don’t really think I’m learning disabled, I think that you are teaching disabled, I think if you knew how to teach me, I would learn. But, you don’t know how to teach me, so I don’t learn. If you’re not going to be able to learn how to teach me, I think I’m going to have to learn how to teach myself.” That’s pretty much what I did. I learned that this reading thing doesn’t work for me, so let’s try other things. So what I would do is interview my fellow students to find out what they read about. Fin out what they thought about the story they read. I would interview everybody, and then I would come up with my own ideas about what the story was about, and I would play it through in my head, and then I would regurgitate it to the teacher. The teachers were always thinking that I was reading it, but I wasn’t reading it, I was just regurgitating what somebody told me. So I found my way around. Although that way around wasn’t really effective for me, it “did the job” it still made me feel like, if I was any kind of a good student I would know how to do this reading thing. Because everybody else can do it. Even individuals that I look at and I talk to, who I considered to be not too intelligent, were able to read it. I was like “why are you able to read it and I am not?” But, I didn’t know. At the time that is what happened.

Life sometimes deals you a hand, that you don’t realize impacts
your perception of the world and yourself.

That hand that I was dealt, it impacted my perception of the world, and myself. I slowly started hypnotizing myself into believing that I could not do some things. I WAS not going to be some things. I believed that I was fat, lazy and stupid and I wasn’t going to amount to anything. So throughout my whole career, I proved myself right, by stopping everything that I was being successful at. I proved myself right, when I was starting to lose weight I would sabotage my weight loss and something would come up, I wouldn’t be able to finish working out, I would stop, I would slow down, and I just wouldn’t work out anymore, and I would gain the weight back. Because I was gaining the weight back, I’d feel bad about myself, I’d start eating stuff that I shouldn’t be eating, You can already hear the cycle I am sure! This is what happens sometimes when you have hypnotized yourself. Now that I am realizing that I was hypnotized, I am “un-hypnotizing” myself, I am going into those deep parts of my mind and my subconscious and I am re-programming, I am re-establishing my realities as they are, not as they think they are. It’s funny, you think you would know yourself better than anybody else would, but you know some people would look at you and say “Why do you feel that way about yourself? Because obviously that’s not you” and you think well “You just don’t know me” But when it’s coming from your wife that you’ve been married to a little while, you kind of get to a point that you can’t say that she doesn’t know you! She knows me very well! lol So if she says to me “why do you have low self-esteem? You’re brilliant, you’re funny, you’re outgoing, people really like you” She says that I’m handsome! I’m happy with that! So WHY? That is THE question! I realize now that the question “WHY” is the most important question that you can ask EVER! Why am I here? Why am I fat? Why do I lose all the time? Why do I always fail at the things that I try? Why do I want to be thin? WHY? Why do I want to be healthy? Why do I want to be fit? Fitness is not just about your physical body, it’s also about being mentally fit, and emotionally fit, and socially fit.
So hopefully, my process will help your process. In the last little while, my wife and I, because of this revelation that we have received, decided to start researching things. So now I am a certified life coach. I’m also certified in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). When I first heard of NLP I thought this stuff was NUTS! This was for people who were “New Agey” and crazy. There might be some aspects of that that is true but the realize is, it is the programming language that you use to re-program how you feel about yourself, your situation, and anything whatsoever. For example, if you are afraid of flying, you can use NLP to re-program yourself to no longer have a fear of flying, and to actually figure out where you were irrational fear comes from. Now if you have a fear of jumping off of a balcony, that is natural! Because if you jump off of the balcony you can get hurt. That’s a natural fear. But there’s some things that we bring fear to, that really have no natural reason to be there. A fear of a snake that’s about to bite you, makes sense! A fear of a snake that’s inside a glass cage, inside a wall that’s not going to touch you, that is irrational. Because you are not in danger. Your PERCEPTION might be danger, because it’s a snake. What’s so wrong with fear anyways? Nothing is wrong with fear. Fear keeps you energized! I was just watching a video where a man was saying:

“The most important thing for you to do, is to JUMP!”

His analogy was that we have a parachute, but the parachute won’t open until you jump. If you never jump, the parachute never opens. If the parachute never opens, you never soar through life. We see people every day soaring through life, enjoying their vacations, enjoying their nice cars, enjoying their fit bodies, but we don’t go there. So WHY don’t we go there? Because we believe that it’s not for us. Because of whatever ridiculous beliefs that we have that limits what we can do, and what we can’t do.

I hope this introduction is adequate in letting you know what I am dealing with, and what I am going through. I will keep everybody on my podcast up to date with my weight loss, my fitness, and also my emotional fitness and perhaps even my financial fitness. My suggestion to you is to go somewhere quiet, this is interesting advice from someone who is doing a podcast about fitness but, go somewhere quiet, be still, ask yourself WHY? And just listen. Sometimes that might require asking yourself deeper questions. Why? How come? What happened there? What was the situation?

Be a reporter. Investigate your own emotional baggage.

Because you might realize after investigating your own emotional baggage, that you never packed it in the first place! Somebody else packed it in your bag. If you are going to the airport with somebody else who packed your bag, you will be in trouble! My suggestion is to unpack the bag, re-pack it, and let’s soar together, let’s just JUMP! My parachute might not open right away, and I might get scarred up a little bit, but a life with scars has stories.

You can find my Podcast here goo.gl/2YNVdA

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